If We Ever Meet Again
by Freckle-and-Minnow
Summary: "That package you sent to Solomon's over the summer, it had another bag in it, didn't it? One for me." Zach whispers quietly. Surely he didn't know that I basically confessed loving him in the letter, right?  Post GG5, one-shot


**A/N: What's up guys? Hunger Games was brilliant, and the fics coming from it are great! If you want a list, pm me, I have a few bookmarked that are UH-MAZING! Alright, this is my first story (one-shot) that isn't song inspired, though I always listen to music while writing. I don't really have any other ideas for one shots right now, but I'm sure one will sneak up on me sooner or later. Anyways, on with the fic!**

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed**

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><p><strong><em>{If We Ever Meet Again}<em>**

"That package you sent to Solomon's over the summer, it had another bag in it, didn't it? One for me." Zach whispers quietly. We are outside, walking back inside from our morning P&E class. The weather is cold and snowflakes fall around us, our footsteps crunching on the frosty grass. All my classmates have already made it inside, ushered inside by the cold wind. I stop dead in my tracks, shocked by his comment.

I, meaning summer me, had put his gift inside my separate package. I don't see any logic in doing that, other than I if I was still unsure of whether or not I should actually give it to him. But the letter was meant to be given to him while I was still away, so why didn't I just mail it to him without a return address? I don't really see logic in any of my actions last summer.

When I opened the package the first time with my friends around me, it didn't see it. It was a tiny bag, containing a leather bound bracelet and a letter, perfectly folded. The letter was addressed to Zach, but I never planned on giving it to him after I found it a few weeks ago, right after we came back from Ireland. I mean, I'm back, aren't I? Why would I give it to him now? Why embarrass myself even more infront of my almost-kinda-sorta-boyfriend by showing his a letter where I essentially profess my love for him?

"Ummm, yeah actually there was." I turn to him, avoiding looking him in the eyes.

Lately, things have been good between us. Great actually. We have a game plan and a way to maybe take down the Circle. For once, things are looking optimistic. Why does it have to be ruined now?

"Well, I was wondering if I could see it. Maybe it has some information you looked over and missed?" I knew this wasn't his real reason, but I agree anyway. How could I deny him without looking suspicious, the letter was addressed to him.

"Uh, sure." I say, my voice squeaking at the end. Surely he didn't know that I basically confessed loving him in the letter, right? It's not like I don't love him, because I am pretty positive that I do, but I have never _told_ him I loved him. Between cramming to catch up on all of my classes and trying to get my life back to normal, Zach and I have had next to zero time to spend together, and even less without my friends. Sure we sneaked in a few chaste kisses, but every time it was nothing more than what my mother would categorize as "cute".

We agree to meet in the library after all of our classes that day. I travel to the remainder of my classes that day, in more or less of a daze. I can't concentrate, and get more than a few concerned looks from my friends and teachers. I assure everyone I am fine, but that doesn't seem to satisfy them. Over lunch, Macey finally asks me what had me day dreaming half the day. I involuntarily flick my eyes towards Zach who is casually making his way over to our table. Macey gives an almost imperceptible nod and a quiet "Oh," as Zach slides into the seat next to me. He turns to me and smiles, showing his teeth while shoving food into his mouth. I roll my eyes at his immaturity, but I secretly wish moments like these would happen more often.  
>It's about five when we finally meet. I'm clutching the tiny package in my hand, feeling like it's filled with lead rather than a bracelet and paper. The halls are relatively quiet, the occasional pack of girls walking through the lowly lit corridors, giggling and laughing, anxious to go home for the holidays. I reach our meeting place, the back corner of the library, and realize this is the same spot we met so long ago to study in our sophomore year. Zach is sitting in the loveseat in the corner, with his leather jacket hanging on the chair next to it. He's leaning back on the couch, legs spread apart and staring into the flames, in a way that can only be described as <em>Zach<em>. His eyes snap towards me, though I know he noticed me the moment I entered the large room. He focuses on the package in my hands for a second, and then he theatrically eyes his way up my body, and smirks.

"You're such a guy!" I say with mock disgust, crossing my arms over my chest and sticking out my tongue. There's nothing to see, I changed into sweats and a tee after showering earlier, but it's still funny all the same.

"I'm glad you noticed Gallagher Girl." His face is solemn, but his eyes are laughing and I know he's just teasing me. He breaks into a grin as I laugh, sitting next to him. We sit there for a moment, the sun throwing long winter shadows onto the frozen landscape and the sky turning orange.

"So, what's in the package?" Zach asks, breaking the silence. I slowly hand it to him, reluctant to give it up. His hand brushes mine and a tingle goes up my arm, just as it does any other time we come in contact. He opens the little brown bag and pulls out the contents, first going for the bracelet and setting the letter on the coffee table in front of us. He regards the bracelet, feeling the smooth leather on one side and the rough underside on the other. There are intricate carvings in it, swirls and patterns, and it looks like something I would have debated over for hours, just to make sure it was the perfect gift. I obviously got it in the same market where I obtained Liz, Macey, and Bex's jewelry. Its beautiful and simple and masculine and just Zach. He gazes at it for a moment longer and looks up at me and smirks, "You have good taste Cam, thanks," sliding it on his right wrist and tightening the strap.

Then he reaches for the letter on the table, carefully unfolding it and holding it so I can read it with him aswell.

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><p>Dear Zach,<strong><strong><br>****

Maybe, if we were born in another time, another place, it could have worked. Us. We could have been normal. We could have driven downtown and walked on the sidewalk, hand in hand. We could have ran through fields of flowers and kissed in the rain, like in all of those corny movies. And I would have been the luckiest girl on earth, to be with you. We would take care of each other, you and me. Because we are perfect for eachother, and I wouldn't want anyone else. But life's not perfect, huh? I am so close to finding something, Zach, but I can't tell the details in this letter, for obvious reasons.

I just am so afraid that I will never come back, to you, to Macey, Liz, and Bex, and to my mom. I hope you understand why I left. I couldn't take you, or anyone else. I can't let you guys keep getting hurt. Not after what happened on the roof so long ago, or what happened to Abby. It's time I take matters into my own hands.

I keep putting my hand to my ear, expecting my comms to be there, but it's not. I keep expecting Liz to crackle into my ear, telling me that there's a door five feet ahead to take, or to check out the cute guy to my right. But most of all, I keep getting this feeling that you are watching me, or that you are standing right behind me. But then I realize that it can't really be you, no matter how badly my subconscious wishes it was. Because if it was you, I wouldn't still be out here, scared out of my wits and all alone. I would be safely within the walls of Gallagher, or some CIA facility. Although it will seem more like a prison than a safe house, I honestly can't wait to see you guys again. If I see you guys again.

I don't regret leaving, I just wish it didn't have to come to this. I wish I didn't have to give my mother a heart attack and my friends a headache trying to find me. I really wish I could just relax and let go. Let go of all this stress and anxiety and heartache. What I really want is to be normal, but we don't always get what we want, do we?

I guess the real reason why I'm writing you this letter is because I'm lonely. And scared, but I try not to think about how truly terrified I am. This isn't play time anymore. This is real.

I never realized what it's like to be alone. Not just alone, but alone alone. Not alone in a passageway, or a hallway, or a dorm, where there are people I have known all my life within yelling distance. Alone as in, alone in a crowd of people I don't know. No backup, no help. No mistakes.I don't ever think I have ever been exposed to this type of alone before. Gallagher definitely never prepared me for this.****  
><strong>**

I also feel guilty. For leaving, for not taking you, for not telling you. I'm sorry, I really am. I really wish this didn't have to happen. Maybe one day, when this is all finished, we can try and behave like normal people, and have a real relationship. But then again, spy or not, we never were really normal, were we?

Love,

Cammie

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><p>"I sound desperate," I remark, not knowing what else to say.<p>

"You sound scared," Zach says, turning to me, "and lonely. I don't think you understood the magnitude of leaving until you actually left"

"I didn't know I was leaving until a few days prior." I bite back, cringing at my hostility. Why am I so defensive?

"I blame myself for that. I should have never even mentioned leaving." He says dejectedly, turning to the side.

"Don't you dare say that Zach. It's not your fault, I chose to leave." I say, trying to make up for snapping and putting my hand on his shoulder to make him turn back to me.

"You don't get it, do you? I completely shut down after you left. I ran away too. I couldn't take it." Turning back, his face slowly getting redder from anger.

"Please don't get upset, it's over now okay. I'm fine." I say, forcing a smile up at him, not wanting to fight.

"No, your not. All your bruises have almost faded, but you will have those scars forever. We almost lost you Cam. We thought we lost you." His voice strong, but the words betray him. He leans his head down to touch my forehead with his, reveling in the warmth of the fireplace and the smell of his aftershave.

"I thought I lost you." He pulls my chin up to face him and gazes into my eyes.

"I'm here now Zach." I say, more to remind myself than him. He flashes a ghost of a smile, and says "I know Gallagher Girl. And you are never leaving me again." Taking my head in his hands, he pulls me in for a tender kiss. The innocence slowly disappears and is replaced by heat, a need for him to know that I am still here. With his hands and lips ravishing my body, I lean closer to him on the loveseat. A student could walk by at any time, but I don't care. Moments like these hardly ever happen, and I'm going to take it for all its worth.

Our bodies are flush against each other, his hands drawing undecipherable patterns on my sides. His lips are peppering kisses on my jawline and I slide my hand under his white cotton shirt and he lets the lowest groan out.

"You're killing me here Gallagher Girl," Zach almost growls, his voice husky warm in my ear as he leans into me and I lay against the arm of the plush sofa. I grin at him deviously, even I was surprised by my boldness. He slides his hand behind me resting his hand on my exposed lower back, pulling me ever closer to him. His mouth is rough and passionate on mine and I rock my hips towards him, knowing it will alleviate my growing need. Zach meets my trusts for a moment, and then stills me with his hands on my waist. He takes his mouth off mine and stares at me for a moment and then breaks into a smirk.

"You're a little forward Gallagher Girl." He says with teasing eyes, and I let out a huff and sit up, pulling down my shirt that had ridden up to show my stomach.

"You ruin everything!" I say, with false anger and an exasperated smile on my face. Deep down, I'm happy he had the self control to stop. Since when did I become the proactive one?

"Hey, I'm kidding baby, I just don't think we should be giving everyone a show." Zach says wrapping his arms around me. It takes me a second for what he just said to process in my brain, and I look up and spy Macey and Liz across the room, at the only table that has a view of our secluded area. My eyes grow huge and I can feel my cheeks and neck burning.

"GUYS!" I yell as I stand up, not knowing whether to storm over to them or turn back to Zach, all of whom are now laughing in earnest. Liz is doubled over hiccupping and gasping for air, trying to say "I can't... believe... Bex missed... this!", while Macey is trying contain her laughter and look at me with a knowing smirk. I turn back to Zach who is again leaning back casually against to couch, chuckling to himself like he hadn't just been caught by two of his girlfriend's best friends.

"I can not believe that just happened!" I say, trying to stop laughing myself. Zach stands up next to me and says, "Neither do I, Gallagher girl. But we have the whole winter break to find secret hideaways together." He pulls his hands into mine and intertwines our fingers, putting a sweet, lingering kiss on my lips.

"Show's over folks!" Zach yells with a smirk, as we start to walk out, hand in hand. His long, slow strides match my shorter ones, and as we leave the library he turns and throws a smile my way. His smile, not smirk, says everything we left unsaid. _I'm finally over you leaving. I forgive you. Our future is bright. We can do this. We can make this work. _

And maybe, just maybe, _I love you._

_**(If We Ever Meet Again}**_


End file.
